this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He's on the porch naked. Help.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
