what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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