Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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