There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
