i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
