She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize