I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
