I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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