take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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