before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
