dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
