Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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