I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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