uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
