do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
