Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
