i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
