How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
