The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
