You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
