Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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