I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
