it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
