I love black thongs
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize