Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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