Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Bring me that man meat
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
