My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize