I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
