Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
