I can tuck mytits in my pants
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
two words...techno handjob
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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