i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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