There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
