drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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