is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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