I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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