weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
