I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
