So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
