I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
