with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
