i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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