Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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