we're chasing vodka with high fives
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We got so high we made milksteak
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
