Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Actions speak louder than pants.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
