New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
