pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
