mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
