Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize