I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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