Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
