Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
