i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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