Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
