you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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