He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
