Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
