Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
