I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
