i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
